


Know The Dark and Let it Rest

by Melkorstars (Vendetta23)



Category: Twilight Series - Stephenie Meyer
Genre: Bella is much hornier than Edward ya’ll just cowards, But he couldn’t know that, F/M, Female Masturbation, I read Midnight Sun and now I’m back at this and so are you, It will be hinted at the end she knows he was watching, Mentions of Blood, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Penetrative Sex Toy, mentions of body horror, self fingering, spit
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-05
Updated: 2020-09-05
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:26:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,737
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26307055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vendetta23/pseuds/Melkorstars
Summary: “My own form, iron for more than a century unmoved, wavered in between the shockwaves, crumbling down as if struck by the sturdiest material there is, one I have yet to discover. And yet, Bella was not made of such a thing but of flesh and bone… and blood.I locked my muscles and stopped breathing for a moment.And yet she is the one to undo me.”——————————————————————————Edward keeps coming back to his nightly stalkings. This night, he watches Bella masturbate.
Relationships: Edward Cullen/Bella Swan
Comments: 8
Kudos: 37





	Know The Dark and Let it Rest

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags. Title from the Aviators’ Fading Light. Poem my own.
> 
> I’ll post the second part soon! Enjoy!

_**Pure** _

_I never cared much about being that_

_My hands, I would never wash them_

_Something of mine would be lost down the drain_

_I sink myself into the dirt_

_To say I am, I am, I am_

_And I can’t get enough._

_Those stainless things I was taught were beautiful_

_Become more so when preyed upon_

_And like a sinner to an altar_

_I pray that I’m not too far gone._

_If I were clean, if you weren’t so_

_I would not taint_

_You would not glow_

_I would not ruin_

_You would not fall_

_And there it goes the world as we know it._

* * *

It was the dead of night, around me miles and miles stretched out in almost perfect silence, the gentle breeze blowing through the leaves the only sound in the world. But I…

I was hearing music.

“Edward” Bella mumbled through her parted lips one more time, rocking her body under the covers, the sheets slowly sliding down to the floor. My hands twitched in an almost human reflex as I leaned forward to cover her again, and then I saw the minuscule drops of sweat on her forehead gleaming under the moonlight. I couldn’t know how warm of a night it was, although I could feel the heaviness of the air along with the burning pain of every breath I took. It was a specially humid night, I understood as I glanced at the grass outside, every leaf covered in droplets. I decided to leave the sheets where they fell and to avert my eyes from the rocking body on the bed.

But I could not help myself from feeling the waves of warmth that engulfed my body with every movement she made. My own form, iron for more than a century unmoved, wavered in between the shockwaves, crumbling down as if struck by the sturdiest material there is, one I have yet to discover. And yet, Bella was not made of such a thing but of flesh and bone… and blood.

I locked my muscles and stopped breathing for a moment.

And yet she is the one to undo me.

“Edward” her voice had turned up a notch, still I kept my eyes focused on the dark corner of her room. If she had awoken, if she had seen me, I would finally receive my well deserved punishment. I only needed her to say the words, to banish me from her life to never return and finally I would have the strength to do what should have been done long ago. To do what should never have to be done, if I had not been so selfish in the first place.

But the punishment didn’t come, neither did the screams or the horrified words drenched with repulsion. I felt like one denied blessing after having sinned greatly. It was more than deserving, I should be sentenced to forever carry my sins instead of being washed clean of them. If leaving was my penitence, the deed which would clear my conscience, I would not be ordered to do it. That would be far to gracious for me.

“Edward, no” my fingers dig into the wooden arms of the rocking chair and it creaks in protest. Bella however doesn’t react to the high pitched screech, the rhythmic back and forth of her body had turned into a distressed tossing, her hands, as if mimicking my own, reached up and grabbed at the pillows, squeezing until her knuckles turned white.

There it was, what I came back for night after night since she had first called my name while she slept. I insisted on coming back, and for that I emerged victorious. This is what I get. And still, if I had a stomach it would twist in itself, if I had a heart it would sink to the bottomless pit that is my chest. There it was, her shivering body, her furrowed brows, her hands clawing at everything to get away from what I was in the dream. From what I still am when she wakes up.

How could I have ever believed she would say my name with anything other than revulsion?

“Edward, no…” I retreated into the shadows, turning my face away with shame.

“No, no… _come back_ ”

…

_What?_

I shot her an accusatory glance not knowing what I was accusing her of, knowing that I should save that judging look for myself alone whenever I had the courage to look in the mirror. That didn’t last for long. When I saw her, my expression softened, my mouth stood agape.

The hands I had thought clawing around to get away were closing around what little cover she still hadn’t tossed down the floor, grasping it desperately, pulling it closer to her chest. Her troubled look deepened as she repeated over and over for me to…

“ _Stay_ ”.

A soft squeaking sound came from behind me, I was standing in the middle of her room with no recollection of coming out of the darkness I was shrouded in, leaving the chair slowly rocking back and forth at my back. Touched by the moonlight, I now envied my shadow that so freely stretched over her sleeping form, unafraid to touch her like I am.

In every distressed twist of her body and every suffering grunt she gave I found a poor excuse to bend myself down towards her one inch at a time, as if I were being slowly dismantled by every pained expression that crossed her face. Was this the first time in one hundred years that the Heavens have looked down kindly on me and made one the answer to her pleas and the answer for my suffering?

My outstretched fingers came to a halt hovering on the air above her cheek.

Her heartbeat oscillated almost imperceptibly as her chest expanded in a deep breath. I was cloaked back in the shadows when her shoulders tensed and her eyes flew open. Bella sat on the bed in between ragged breaths, looking around in bewilderment. One hand touched the plastered hair on her forehead, then she used her wrist to brush the sweat from her skin.

“Fuck” she mumbled. Funny, I am thinking exactly the same thing.

As the seconds dragged on I felt less secure in my ability to slide out undetected. This isn’t one of those human moments when you jolt awake for no particular reason in the middle of the night, spend some brief moments lingering in between dream and wakefulness and fall back asleep as soon as your head falls back on the pillow.

Bella was _awake_. She is glaring at the bookshelf across her bed, eyes unfocused, hugging her knees tightly as if for comfort.

So it _was_ a nightmare after all.

I glanced at the window without turning my head. I could probably dart through it without her hearing a sound or seeing a blur… if it were open. The window had been halfway up when I came in, why did I have to close it? Then I remembered it, the hypothetical gulf of gelid air coming in, making her fall ill with what would be at first dismissed as a common cold, her growing weaker, bedridden for days because she would be too stubborn to go to the hospital but it would have been too late already and… Well, now she was bound to die from a heart attack.

But Bella still hadn’t seen me. She had closed her hands into fists and was now pounding at the mattress, slapping her disheveled locks away as they fell over her face. Bella tugged at her hair and pulled it back, staring at her bookshelf with renewed anger. Her expression still confused me since her thoughts were silent to me, I didn’t understand why her eyes weren’t wide and her lips trembling with fear after such a vicious nightmare. Instead, she gazed straight ahead, her lips pulled into a snarl that kept subsiding and then reappearing as if she were about to say or do something but holding it back. Her hands fell by her sides, still curled into fists, her chin shot up in either defiance or resolve. I would have given anything, now more than ever, to know what she was thinking.

A minuscule twitch of her wrist, imperceptible to any human, kept repeating itself over and over. Bella’s heart was pounding in her chest, she seemed about to be about to launch herself into movement but for some reason staying very still. This unnerved me, had she seen me? What would I tell her? What _could_ I tell her? There was absolutely no justification for me being here. I was about to taint the last memory I had of her by scaring her witless, she will think I came here to kill her, she wouldn’t believe me when I say I’ll be gone from her life forever. She’ll spend years in fear, looking over her shoulder for the nightmare that once crossed her path while she led a normal highschool life. I can see her years from now, having night terrors from which her partner will fruitlessly try to wake her up from. It won’t matter how much she loves him or her or how much they love her back, the nightmares will keep on coming, a stain on every framed portrait of the happy life she will try to build. I robbed her of her peace. And all because I was too weak to stay away, I preferred to derail her entire life than to suffer my half-life in silence.

A heavy thud on the floor snapped me back from my scrambled thoughts and made me realize I had lost track of what was happening before my own eyes. Bella had knocked over the pile of books she kept by the bed, freezing for a moment and seeming to listen attentively until a slightly louder snore from Charlie set her back in motion. She fetched something from behind the pile and held it close to her chest with both hands. Her back still turned to me, I followed the widening of her ribcage becoming more pronounced, settling into deeper and calmer breaths. She slowly turned around, her face hidden by a curtain of thick hair, and I could see the object she was clutching at her breast.

How human of me to tremble.

**Author's Note:**

> The second part is the horny one 😈


End file.
